Well apparently the Lord wanted to tell me something. Last weekend Vida (cru) had a weekend student retreat in the near by city of La Plata. Our students and staff from Buenos Aires got together with the students and staff in La Plata for a weekend together to grow in the word, prayer, evangelism, and more. The first two days of the retreat I found myself serving in the kitchen the whole time. Even when I wasn't signed up to help cook I was in the kitchen. By the second night, I started asking myself why I wasn't participating more in the workshops and such. I could. The other STINTers were serving but were also participating. But why wasn't I wanting to be in the workshops? The Lord whispered that I should look at fear. For me it is easier to be in the kitchen with other english speaking gringos rather than having to work to engage in spanish conversation. It is easier to do something that doesn't require much thought and be in a safe place where the Lord can't convict me of anything. However, next day I stayed out of the kitchen trying to listen to the Lord.

Apparently it needs to sink in a little more because today he spoke again. I hide behind service. Think about it - how many times do we say "Everything is good just keeping busy." I don't know about you but I get tired of hearing that word. We are all busy. But why do we keep so busy? For me, part of the reason is that it is easier to hide behind doing something rather than facing the problem, having to come to God asking him to walk me through my sin. All this "busyness" keeps us from acknowledging our true thirst for love, friendships, truth and thus thirst for the Lord. I heard this devotional a few weeks ago about Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42.

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feetlistening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 


Martha is so distracted by her service that she doesn't even take the time to sit at the feet of Jesus. She is missing out on just being with him, spending time together, and learning from him. Although small, there are tons of messages packed in this passage. Hearing this passage was the first time the Lord started signaling my service filled life. The Lord asks us to serve and some people are given gifts of service. However for me, my service was stemming from something else, a heart issue that needed to be addressed. I find myself being a Martha, hiding behind my service, "just keeping busy" so I don't have to actually see where Jesus truly wants me. It is hard to do nothing and just be in the presence of the Lord, listening and enjoying his presence. But I am tired of hiding in the service and being busy because it is easy. I want true freedom. And as backwards as it may seem, true freedom comes in Christ. For me it is a big step of faith to drop the busy service where I am comfortable and sit at the feet of Christ as he directs my path. But the Lord has called and I am taking the step.